Does it ever happen to you that you’re in a candy store (or the candy department of any kind of store) and you’re totally torn back and forth between two different sorts of candy, but you can have only one and you can’t make up your mind and it takes ages and then you finally decide to leave the store with no candy at all because you think that no candy in the world is worth that kind of mental ordeal?
As a kid I’ve done that a lot of times. Even now I sometimes still do.
Anyway…
A million things have been happening since Summary was announced. And I’ve learned a million things about people, about how life works, how the system works. How I work. When I look at it all I see a huge amount of little events that went the wrong way. Obstacles to be passed, things to be fixed. Some could be passed or fixed, many more couldn’t.
They’re very small little things, like the fact that my auction service only lets me bid on items that the seller has in his hands at the time of the auction. FC tickets haven’t been mailed yet. None of these FC ticket auctions will work for me. I’m gonna need a general sales ticket, and like I wrote the other day, there aren’t a lot of them around. It’s just a tiny little detail, but it’s one of many throughout this whole ticket dealing business that went the worst possible way for me. All that has become extremely unnerving and tiring. I am exhausted. The way it looks now it’s gonna stay that way until Summary starts so that by the time I get to Tokyo I’d be physically and mentally worn out and totally empty. I don’t think I could enjoy myself or Tokyo or other people for the first half of the week. I don’t want that. This whole thing was supposed to be fun. Up until now it has been anything but.
This is a strategic withdrawal. The Gods are in a pissy mood at the moment, so I’ll retreat, lick my wounds and start planning a trip to the next concert which may be as early as September.
Akaru, luma_chan, Aki, Scribe… I so would have loved to meet you. Aki and Scribe, you’ll still be in Japan the next time I get there, so you’re just gonna have to wait a little while longer. Akaru, Luma, I am so sorry. I really hope you’ll enjoy your individual experiences in Japan so much that you’ll want to go back there again very soon, and maybe we can meet then. I hope we can. But this time it just doesn’t work. Again, I’m sorry. Heartbroken too.
I’ve made up my mind, I’m not going. Not this time. Even if somebody offered me a ticket for free now I wouldn’t accept it. Too little too late, buddy. Try a little earlier next time. I’ve been thinking about it for a week, and I’ve come to a decision.
My summer is over now. What the heck, I like autumn so much better than summer anyways. Like when the weather is gray and rainy and all that. Pretty much like the weather over here in the last couple of days. It’s a great time to wrap yourself up in a blanket and watch TV. Yesterday, by a lucky coincidence, I came across the DVD of ジャングル大帝,
known as Kimba the White Lion in the US and many other places. I used to watch that series as a kid, and I also used to listen to the audio version (which was basically an edited audio rip of the TV soundtrack) before going to sleep every night. I so loved it. I wanted to be exactly like Kimba. Well, at least until that young human named Kenichi showed up, then I wanted to be like him, lol. Anyway, so I have this DVD now and I watched the first episode last night while there was a thunderstorm going on outside. I hadn’t seen this in 30 years and suddenly it all came back. Suddenly I was seven again, sitting in front of the TV with my mouth and eyes wide open, in awe of the story that was unfolding in front of me, and at times mouthing the dialogue because TV is such a fucking powerful medium that it makes you remember silly stuff like that even after 30 years. Just looking at the DVD menu sends shivers down my spine because some of the episodes were really scary and just reading their titles brings it all back in a flash. TV is so powerful, it’s a shame we’re wasting it like we do.
So anyway, today the wheather is gray and rainy again, I’m gonna wrap myself up in a blanket in front of the TV and watch Kimba the White Lion, just like I did when I was seven. Nothing has changed.
Nothing ever should have.
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