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Oh well…

Looks like I’m a complete failure when it comes to staying clear of the fandom on a day like this. Of course I had to look, and I found all my prejudices confirmed. Yay me! :/

People are upset and angry, like they were when Hey!Say!JUMP were formed, and for all the same reasons. “They’re too young“, “Why break up established groups?“, and of course “Hey, that kid only just entered Johnny’s a month ago!!!“. It was kinda like that when NEWS were formed in 2003, and I have a feeling it was like that when SMAP were formed and fans were all like “Huh? But what about all the other Juniors who deserve to debut?”

Reminds me very much of this famous quote:

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders…. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.

Sounds like something somebody said yesterday. Well, somebody probably did, but this quote is actually most commonly attributed to Socrates, which makes it more than 2,300 years old. People change only veeeeeery slowly, so I’m not at all surprised at all the outrage over Nakayama Yuma with B.I.Shadow.

So, nothing I’m gonna say will change much, but I’m gonna say it anyway, because… I don’t know, somebody has to I suppose. There are a couple of things I read today that I just can’t leave uncommented. A lot of things actually, but to keep this short I’ll just mention my favourite ones:

• Why them? Others deserve it more.

Yeah well, the thing is, Johnny’s isn’t a meritocracy. Never has been. The purpose of the whole company is to make money. You may be the hardest working Junior for 10 years running, if fans don’t buy your uchiwa you’re not gonna get anywhere. Is this fair? No, it’s not, but this isn’t a game either. It’s a business. And nobody in this business really cares if teenage girls get upset because, let’s face it, they get upset all the time.

• They’re so young! Are they recruiting from kindergarten now?

Apparently there is a trend in recent years for the people who get to debut to become younger and younger. Or is there? Okay, let’s see how they used to do it back in the good old 90s: the three members of V6’s subgroup Coming Century were between 14 and 16 at the time of their debut. Oh! Who knew? Okay, let’s go even further back, 1988-1991: when SMAP were formed Katori Shingo was 11. By the time they debuted he was 14. Well how about that?

It just seems that some of the people who complain about how much of a kindergarten Johnny’s has become don’t remember what it was like 15 or 20 years ago because at the time they were… in kindergarten. Oh the irony. >.>

• JE is targeting only the pre-teens market now…

Of course, duh! What else are they supposed to do? Target the 20-to-30-year-olds to make them buy CDs of a new group instead of Arashi, KinKi Kids or KAT-TUN? JE’s already got that market completely covered. Any attempt to make money with a new unit in this segment will only result in making less with the established ones. You think debuting a bunch of teens is stupid? It’s actually very smart and consistent with company policy because there’s a lot of untapped money to be found there. Debuting a bunch of 22-year-olds would be stupid because it would be like stealing money from your own pocket. That is exactly what Johnny Kitagawa meant when he said two years ago: “??????????.” Showa is already useless. I said it back then, and I’m gonna say it again now: we’re probably not going to see any Showa people debut ever again. And if we are it’ll most certainly be the last time.

• And why is the new kid debuting so fast?!!!!!!

Yes indeed? And why was Okamoto Keito debuting so fast? Or Tegoshi Yuya? Or Okada Junichi? Hm, maybe it’s because some people have the potential to sell more in one year than others sell in 10? Damn, if only there was somebody experienced enough to pick them from a crowd.

Oh wait, there is! His name is Johnny Kitagawa. And like him or not, but none of his debuts have ever failed. The man is a hero, and claiming that your “respect for Johnny has reached an all time low” says a great deal more about you than it says about him.

That’s it. Sorry if I offended anybody. I’m just trying to be reasonable here.

I like this debut. Some of these people I wouldn’t have picked if anyone had asked me, but nobody did ask me so I have to be happy with what I’ve got. And I’ve got freaky-sexy Yuma, and I’ve got NAKAKEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!

I am so totally looking forward to Music Station tomorrow. Akuma na Koi better be a totally gay ballad type of song. And Yuma better be biting Nakaken’s neck. Or the other way around. Or something like that.

*Dances his happy dance. Naked. On a glass table. With a camera underneath it.*

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